Gossip around the camp
Left winger and Club sponsor Adam Hickman has been forced into rehab by manager Brian Hinchcliffe to tackle his addiction to steroids. Apparently Adams penis has shrunk so bad he now needs to urinate through a straw.
Club captain and versatile goalkeeper Chris McEwan has been reprimanded and fined £7 by the hierarchy for inappropriate behaviour. During a recent Halloween party he arrived dressed as recently disgraced Jimmy Saville. But to make matters worse he entered the party with teammate Danny Williams who many believed was an interpretation of a little girl. Not satisfied with that, he left the venue at 5pm in an ice cream van playing ‘Sweet Child of Mine’. Police are now looking into the matter.
Also in the docks is ball boy Patterson who is alleged to have racially abused Marlon King. Lip claimers he says “clean my boots you b**** c***”. Pattersons lawyer and only friend John Terry said it has been blown out of proportion, denying his client ever told anybody to clean his boots. The investigation continues.
Jacks excuse of the week (not sure if Anderson’s playing anymore, stay tuned)
I’m not playing Sunday; I’m not coming off FIFA until I’ve done 10 Cruyff turns.
Dear Uncle Lemo
I’ve not been myself lately, I’ve not been getting picked for my football team and it’s really getting me down. I just need to know, how do you get up from an all-time low?
Praying won’t do it
Hating won’t do it
And drinking won’t do it.
T.W
Hi T.W
Put on your best vest and white pumps, flick your hair back and slap on some fake tan then dance the night away with your homies. Failing that, man the fuck up.
Final Farts
When Brian is giving us a bollocking Sunday, just picture Patterson 3 own goals.
Green Dragon Football Club 